"I fell like death, wrapped in a sock and thrown to the dogs."

I am driving right now
here, pen paper steering wheel
accelerator
I am driving
and this is my first driving poem ever
-not the first while driving
-not the first about driving
but the first while driving about driving
at any second my life could end
I could be finishing a sentence
I could be ending a word
when.... In a flash
brake lights
eyes close
safety belts and gasoline
cigarettes and fast food
end

but not now, not yet
the clouds are gray
above the Chippewa river
ten minutes ago there was a rain
I know
as the road is wet
still
and my windshield wipers
are just erasing tire tracks
from the jeep ahead
I really need better taste in music

it is the beginning of fall
over Alamondo rd
its dirt
the colors have not fully changed
mostly brown and evergreen
give it three weeks
I should make this drive again
in that time
when oranges and reds flicker
like candles glowing in the forest

this road is straight
billboards still selling
still working,
I do, I really do need
a six dollar coffee
and sexy new blue jeans
I really do!

power lines run with me
over pumpkins, squash, and deer corn
I love Michigan!
nine mile says hello, from the fire station
this is going to be beautiful in three weeks

I want a girlfriend
so I can take her to
Chippewa state forest
and Nease memorial church
and car and credit connection
or Pangborne marine
or S.A.I.S. excavating
and take a Sunday drive down
Fitzhaugh St.
or Ashman rd.
and Rodd St.
-enough
I just want a girlfriend so I can get laid

the freeway is wide open
as the American flag
flies above the metal stamping plant
right lane ends
bet you didn't know
what U.S.A. stand for
well.... that too....
but, united steelworkers of America
the sky is opening up
I see blue
I sure hope my tires don't explode.

I have lost all inspiration.
So, lets see.
I'll try really hard.

Somewhere lost, out in the moonlight
a woman dances
her hair sways in the breeze
twists and turns
following her every move
brushing shoulders and kissing lips
She is everything that you imagine
wearing nothing but a sheet
to keep her from freezing
no music
and the stars set a background

And everything that you don't see
she's a drunk
having a breakdown
over her fathers grave
driven five miles in the snow
finished three cigarettes
tears wet her cheeks
and her hair is sticking
the music is the mechanical clank
of her Oldsmobile
on its last leg
the moonlight is her lights
casting her shadow to the grass
the stars are only your imagination

Should you come to her
take the bottle from her hand
and walk her to your car

Or turn and walk away
to keep her innocence ?

I slept too long
last night
and woke up with a backache

I need a new mattress
I sell mattresses

What does that tell you?

I think that one qualification
for selling something is........

You need to be able to afford what you are selling.
Its pathetic.
I cannot afford a five hundred dollar vacuum.

Yet i sell one a day
and act like i know everything about them

I cannot afford a thousand dollar mattress set

I sell one a week.

And act like i sleep on one every night

When really, truth is,

You fuckers need to start buying more expensive vacuums
And overpriced mattress sets
So i can get a good fucking nights sleep!

If I could close my eyes
and open them to a new life
I think that I would slit my wrists
and drink the blood
from my veins
or arteries
we are no more than anything we hope for
but never any less
you are beautiful

and let me be the first to say
that every breath you take
you breathe me in
and capture my soul
that is
of course
if I had one

the devil has my toes
pulling me down
to his inner city apartment
his downtown dwellings
and Jesus you landlord
you keeper of my keys
Georgia power came and shut off the gas.
left me on my knees
cold in the street

you came running
with the steam rolling off your shoes
the soggy exhale of a sweet, sweet Georgia rain
so warm and giving
there it was
a tear

and I am torn between
my cradle and my grave
my next life
and the life you gave
Jesus
you asshole
just show compassion
and give the keys.

All I think these days, is my way out

I am hitting that age

when I need something

I have had enough of not knowing anything

I have had enough of having no direction

I want to settle down

and have a routine

oh, how I would love a routine

just a little peace and comfort to finish my life

I wouldn't have to worry about making sales

or making love

or staying alive

or drinking too much

All I want

is somebody else's life

all I want is to never start

I want to steal your enthusiasm

I want to take your goals and achievements

I want a house

and a child

but I know

it must be my hormones

I know it must be

Myself, my human body

maturing

I know that when we get about this age

we just want to settle down

we just want to be good fathers (or Mothers)

we just want to have a purpose

whether that purpose be managing a k-mart

or fucking a millionaire

I want one

I want a goal

I want something to look forward to

I should save my money

I should scrounge my change

and I should move away

and join the peace corps

and I should save the rain forest

and collect endangered species

and discover new ones

I should explore the ocean

or the world

the caves and crevices

the nooks and crannies of this fucking planet

maybe I should

what do I have?

either I leave now

or I leave never

either I leave now

or I set a goal that ends, something like the American dream

Do I really want the American dream>?

I don't know

Do I really want to be a spelunker>?

I don't know

but I do know that I need a goal

Could I please have yours?

(Have you had enough of my ranting and pissing and moaning? I have. I wish my brain would just stop. My brain needs to stop being such a piss-ant................ Fuck you, Brain.)

Well, as you know
I, personally hate when people place quotes
in their blogs.
to me, it makes them seen incapable of creating their own work
but I don't care what I say
I am dumb

Here is Iron and Wine
I was impressed.

"Coddle some men, they'll remember you bitterly
Fuck 'em, they'll come back for more
I asked my Louise would she leave and so cripple me
Then came a knock at the door

I came for my woman, he came with a razor blade
Bound like us all for the ocean
I hope that she's happy
I'm blamed for the death of
A man who would take her from me "

Well, that was just a snippet. I originally posted the whole damn song.

Let me spread my wings

and grab me a beer

let me float away
into the open sky
without a thought or clue

shake it up
you need your revenge
always have

let me sink back down
and float as a feather
on the ocean
breaking waves and rain

wait for my response
wait for my face to flutter
and my hands to slip

let me be a seagull
and drown out to sea
sinking slowly
till my head touches
the sand underneath

you got just what you wanted
all that you expected
and a little more

let me rest
finally, no time to stay afloat
no time to be adrift
all I want to do is fall asleep
with the gentle pulse
of the waves a hundred yards above

as I shed a tear
you got what you wanted.

I look down to my feet
just to see my toes
when there it is cold and wet
my lovely puppy's nose

i get a lick for here and there
and one sure got my ear
a slobbery way to say hello
but never one i fear

when i come home to see you
and you give that sorry look
one that says"dad why'd you leave;
I only ate a book"

my heart just sinks down to my feet
and slides into my toes
i'm looking down to pick it up
and get....my puppy's nose.

I was bored, sitting by my window, watching the rain, listeining to iron and wine.
Sounds depresing dont it?................
anyway
i wrote a POEM!
it is a real POEM!
not a random stream of consciousness
but it did happen as a result of reading some lyrics; too bad.

So it kinda goes to the tune of "Muddy Hymnal"

I sat alone under a streetlight
broken bleeding in the dead of night
all i wanted
was a picture of your skin

i begged my god not to turn away
show his back and run to hell on me
he hasn't been
much of a friend these better days

i tried to move i tried to shuffle feet
never expect to have a friend to meet
he shook my hand
and he asked to see my teeth

attempt to smile and attempt to curse
my choice of words couldn't have been worse
he just laughed
and slowly took my arm

we walked along under another light
i felt a tear dripping down in spite
i saw it slip
and watched crash down to my shoes

i lifted chin and felt him look at me
i couldn't well, but then i tried to see
owed him that
at least he didn't know my name

eyes had cleared the tears have dried
i thought about that single night i cried
got a wife now
and a family living well

it wasn't god that night who looked at me
not a friend or a foe indeed
just a man
who had some sympathy
and gave his arm to me

Roaming around
on peoples blogs
sucks

its pathetic

its like trying to find the cure for cancer
its like trying to find the love of our life.




other peoples blogs suck
and mine is great
i know

because
i made it

i can hit enter exactly when i need to

i can place a verb exactly where its called for

her blog speaks of television shows
it speaks of parents and friends
i don't know where i am
where am i?





I really
really
really
really
want to care
about my life
but most of all i want to care about my friends
enough

to tell them about
what happened on bones tonight
or wizard of oz
or Seinfield



i want that
i want you to stop reading

i have nothing to say
and you are not creating
go create





go make this world better
better than bones
better than friends
give me something to tell my friends about
and mean it
make me something to care about
make me want to be you




i am sick of being myself.

My ear hurts
wheres my dog?
I had a flight




i made a trip
i left my dog
with my mother
i left my ear
on the airplane
so here i sit

listening to talk radio
listening to politics
hearing nothing
paying no attention



the world never changes
your life never changes
no matter what is on talk radio
it will always be there (in some form)
there will aways be an opposition
and something to oppose



Why does everything that i write
have to deal with something greater
why does anything i write
have to imply anything
do your dreams exist?
i met a woman
once
in
a
dream
and when i woke up
i missed her
i realized that i will never see her again
in my life
.....ever




do you know how that feels?
to know
a dog bark
a foot clank
a door slam
a light on
could change your life
what would it be to fall in love in a dream
what would it be if you never woke up
is that death?






in death
do you fall asleep
and never wake up
because you have found your match
your lover
your life
and you do not feel the need to enter the real world again



or is it just hibernation?







They dumped their heads on the dancefloor
everyone who died
must die. (Talk radio)