It all seems to end the same
every night
the same
me, sitting here at the computer
bad music, beer

if something fun to do
came right over
and slapped me in the nuts
I would probably ignore it
and take drink of beer to choke it all down

these are the moments when I write my worst
yet I feel compelled
yet I feel, for lack of a better phrase
inspired, without inspiration

She was sitting by my bed,
her ass on the floor
leaning back against the bed
Her knees, pulled up to her chest
held in place by the frame work
of her crossed arms

and me

sitting on the carpet
legs stretched
and backward arms supporting

I remember these moments
as I feel that I may never have them again

God, its been so long since I have had any emotion for anybody
God, it has been so long now
that I have been pretending to have fun
pretending to fall in love

when really,
all that I think about is
why I don't feel like I should

why don't I feel
that in your eyes lays the world?
why don't I feel like I could die
as long as you watched me?
that I could live this way forever
sitting here,
legs stretched
watching you hold your knees
spending forever in your eyes

I sure hope I haven't lost it
the ability to love
I really hope I didn't

for the sake of my liver
I don't want to sit here every night
uninspired
and typing
and drinking just to fall asleep