She was laying on the bed
smoking a cigarette
licking on her lips
and dripping with her sweat
up
the smoke billows
up
and out the windows
but later, I catch it
still hiding in my clothes

Come home, I said to my conscience
Come back, I screamed in the mirror
filled with terror and fear
three times of it is for charm
four times would only be cheer

and three times turned
each
with a new angle
three times turned
each
with a different breath
then
silently,
like the pale, blue dot
on which we exist


she turned to me and she spoke
and said that it wasn't a joke

out of the midnight
and everything sacred
out of the light
and out to the lane
I was taken aback
by the thought of attack
and ever so slightly
drifted off and again

the disease filled my spine
and the feelings took hold
from my feet to my skull
drenched in silence and cold
the fear that arose
and the thoughts all imposed
did nothing but suck
all the stench from my clothes

I was silent at first
but soon I could speak
as it happened my
lungs and my throat
all were weak
all silent and meek

I let out a squeak

And me, the freak
laying all still
on the powder room floor
heart pounding with thrill
but never you'd know
as my chest didn't flutter
never you'd hear
as my words didn't utter

lost and alone
brittle and bone
the most notable tone
was that
of the phone
ringing, a drone,
a slave with its wires
wired all wrong
and starting house fires
enveloping flesh
enveloping skin
I did nothing to her
I did nothing to him
but still all this sin
and fire and brim?
where does it stop
and it start and begin
and go all again
with the love that we had
and hearts that could win
with fate and the future
and thought of our kin
the touch of her skin
not burning or thin

but flames don't hear in words
and fire, it isn't living
so any thoughts I had
of regretting and forgiving
were surely never heard
that would be absurd
but I squeaked them out
without a doubt
a doubt without
a shred of clout
and told them of my worth






the fires once started
bring flames