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dreams and ice creams

things can be exactly how they seem
we're living in our dreams
were sleeping in our beds
and fucks and fights and laughter
are spinning in our heads
and our dreams happen
not in real time
bit in instants
and the thoughts of infants
all innocent
still tumble around
on the floor
searching, scratching
expecting more.

The person you want me to be

i grew up with stars
and dark and night
i was taught
right
from wrong
and i knew all along
that this song wouldn't last forever
shit, i grew up with weather
that passes,
sticks like molasses
and fades away
with friends
that come and go
and loves that fade
but a life that stayed
the same as always
the same as ever

is it better
that i am bitter?
or is it worse
that i'm the first?

Powerless against the forces of nature

I saw her dancing on the street
I was watching from above
I was hoping, nearly choking
So filled with love

But, my plastic insides
were nothing to feed the need
and my bitter heart
wasn't much for taste
I'm such a waste

This disease is killing me, i cannot breathe
and only sleep can help my ills
but, it kills

I take stills
and moves
she writes
and paints
and grooves

if it weren't for the money
the self righteousness
and the fear of finding out
I'd tell the truth
what have i to lose?
dignity

will I walk all
long and lonely
or will somebody take me, knowing my flaws
and own me?

She says.

Meteor showers rain reign outside
but we all stay inside and hide.
we all confide
in our televisions
in our good decisions
masturbations
radio stations
relations

and i can say
hey
that's alright

i can say
hey
believe what you want to
believe that we are all created
if that's what you need

but the seed
can't come before it's master.
the control can't come before disaster

there is an answer

hidden in infinity
of life and love and fate
wait
wait
it's too late
wait
wait
till you wake up
till you rake up the leaves of your past
and don't ask any questions

don't give any mentions
don't offer any suggestions
about questions
that you could ever answer
i am the giver
the light
the dancer

"come to me in pieces"
she says,
as she steps down the stairs

"come to me in honor,lust
and greed
it's what i need"

I find it elevating and exhilarating to discover that we live in a universe which permits the evolution of molecular machines.

Nobody ever says anything; anything different anymore
we are all repeating phrases
put forth by our parents
by our predecessors
that will continue till the end of time
unless we make an attempt to change
our minds, bodies and words.
somebody invented it anyway,
anyway

why are we subject to this?
why do we speak the same languages
as our societies advance?

new words emerge
and thoughts
and memes
we try and try and try
but
everything stays as it seems

strings change
back and forth
like a bad divorce
we breathe
and process breath
we grieve and deal with death
but our minds still think the same
even if the molecules change

how do we remember
last december?
how do we grow and learn and change
as a single person, persons
if our brains are flux?
why does our knowledge grow
when our cells die?

is there dualism?
are we treated to this body
as a source of enlightenment?
or, are we trapped by our own mortality?

Find your id,
your ego, your super
and try to imagine that you are moving
not only with legs
but with words
and thoughts
and cells
we move
we move
we keep and forget
and remember, mostly, our regrets
but, these, are completely human

escape, take a break
take a minute
and question your daily
every day
day to day
question your mind
question your so called soul
and bring it to itself.
ask it where you have been
and where you are going.
ask it what it needs of you
to find out why.

Shaken

come see me
come and take me there with you
down the drain
to the sink
where we felt each others hands
where we looked each other
one another
in the eyes
and our breath became
sentences

shivering cold
wrapped in warm from the water
with visions of light and the
shine and the clutter
you held me close

it was the post on the lake
the concrete
buildings
rising up to the beach
the silver flash of the tower
and the crash
on the street
and we held hands

she couldn't help her figure
trapped in my gaze
i was helpless
to the thought
of her insights
and in lights
we stopped and took photographs
of what it took
to make it work

I was shook
and shaken

Memories.

Sure, I remember buying ten dollar cigarette packs
I remember cold nights and cold stacks
But, I'm not made of cold, hard cash
or gold for that matter
I'm just simple matter
that happens to fit together
and keep out the weather

A lovely lover should be there
but, a friendly friend would pack up and leave
if you left him on his knees
a heartstricken,
heartsickened
brain with eyes
walks in disguise
down paths, built, by it's forefathers
so it's no wonder
that it's bothered
when it's feet fall victim
to a nameless choreographer

Sure, i remember sex on the side
with plenty of room to hide
i remember going outside
in plain sight
in dark of night
i remember fright
and blight
and blouse

memories?
I remember your mouth
I remember your house
I remember being stuck to the red of your eyes
upside-down
Walking to town
I remember lost and found
mittens from a box
I remember hats
and socks
and forget me nots.

Black printed on silver.

The fields over grew their masters
and their masters fought faster
to avoid disaster
they held their chatter
and wrote a chapter
about the time spent, wasted
on lost hopes
and misplaced plans

I called all my friends
and gave my demands
as they shook their head in regret
in shame and upset
but i wont regret
the secrets that i keep

sleep
and sleep
and sleep
and sink slowly to the fault
give the blood you lived without
give the dreams
that were your humor
and stories
give the hands that are to swim
give those toes
so when you get there
and it shows....
they wont know
just give it a go