When does life become
something more than a mixer?
something better an sweeter
and more like elixir?

when does this turn
from the outside
to inner
and why do we sit so politely at dinner?

why is my heart so corroded and shameful
why to my legs hurt like somebody shaved them?
where are the questions
we forgot how to answer
and why are your breasts
full of that cancer?

where are we now?
overpopulating
overcopulating
overproducing
overcompensating
just give it a rating
just give me a saving
and live this one over
because my hands are all fading

somebody creep
and come to my doorstep
somebody dream
and dream without regret
somebody kiss
the foot of your master
and hold on my hand
to the brink of disaster.

How do you feel remorse for the dead
knowing that hundreds of thousands of people die every day?

how do you look yourself in the eyes
never really knowing who you are?

how do you attempt to gain wealth
knowing that wealth does not matter?

how do you build a home
knowing that millions of others have done it first?

and how do you fall in love
knowing that it may fail?

I want to be there where you are
in that vacant lot
in that shiny car

i want to be there underneath your skin
all tan and warm and thin

i want the moon to come, invited,
crashing down on the rag top
i want the earth to fight back
and stop
spinning
winning
all cloudy and willing

i want to be filling
your heart with expectations
that i could never keep
i want to follow
the path
of my masters
and i want to cause disaster
faster
and faster

i want the letters to turn to words
and the words
to turn to sentences
i want the phrases in places that we can rub our faces in
i want it to start
and start again
i wish for the sun to come
full circle
and stop

it's far i know
but if my wants and wishes
were plates and dishes
then every thing i say
would be washed away
in the dirty water
that is mother
that is father
in the soapy grime
that is here
that is time
and i would like you to hold my hand through it all
i want to make a wish
and i want to make it all
worth wishing for
i want more
and more and more
i want the shore
to come
creeping
scantily to the beach
and the water to my feet
do come
do here come water
and bring me fish
bring me father
who was there
do bring me mother
who cared
aside from alcohol and life
and television

do come sorrow
so i can feel grieve
so i can feel tomorrow
do come fate
and god and light
i want you to come tonight
and show me where
i am
and why i am here
where i exist
here
where i fear every touch of human kind
be kind
sleep entwined with your lover
sleep softly with each other
one another
don't hog the covers
be strong be fatal
be under
and wonder
what was this for
is there any more?

i want to be where the weather is fair
where beautiful women walk in slow motion
i want to be by the ocean
i want to breathe sweet forest breeze
from the time that i wake
until i sleep

i wish that my life was better than yours
i wish that i had started in a higher
caste
if only life would last
a little bit longer
i would be right now
younger and stronger
richer
and accomplished
but, without this
who would i be?

It's not like it was before, it's not like us
swinging on the swingset
hanging from the pines
and sleeping in outer space

we aren't watching the stars
we aren't hearing spoken word poetry
from out our lovers' mouths
we arent sitting at a table
winded and useless
we arent even there anymore

i dont know what brought us together
was it the thought of forgiveness
was it the night on the park bench screaming
was it the love for the paint,
spilled on the tile floor
i dont know anymore

but, me,
stuck in sweet and salty dream
stuck in a horrible horrible scene
stuck without water
or tent
or house or rent
or fashion or kind of rest
i was the best
i know i was
i know now i was
i know that your ear, pressed gently to the door
was listening to my conversation
blathering on about future intent

i want it all
i want you here
and i have no idea
what drove us apart

I was inside you when the ribbons fell
I was lost and alone
and secretly plotting my own demise
while you were sitting, beautiful
atop a tower of sweat and skin
I cant stop my head spinning
at a thousand miles
and i cant keep you from loving me

sure, touch and kiss
and the like
make for a damn good night
sure they make for
a shitty wake
but we do it to ourselves

the enemy in everything
the fire in the fortune
i am forever fever
and god no
and heavens no
i would never leave her
unless she caught on
unless her sundress
went up in matches

Don't think you read me
don't act like you need me
and god damn girl
don't be needy

The night took us both
and we walked outside
with cloth and wig and wear
we stared at our shoes
and the blues in our hand
would ease the tension

city lights
and the great indian lake

covered in wet and soaked to the bone
i took your hand and we ran
to shelter
from winds and storm
it was courage
in a collage of water and concrete
it was fear in the skirts of the city
it was old movies
and pixels
it was life played out in fairy-tale fashion
in fragments and passion

apartments with ceilings
and pipes
and city lights
and the cold nights
like maps, directed our every step

but where to go from here?