Last night....... i was drunk.

I almost got in a car wreck.

I had two pizza twistas' from two different seven-elevens.

I came home and sat down with an ice cold 24oz can of good old american budwiser.

And wrote whatever flowed.

This is what happened.

i was dreaming
and wake me if i am wrong
i always am
and never are you
to be and to live
without arms and sleep

come together and shake
come together and breathe
come together and swallow me as i follow steps

to the great blue ocean
to the great deep sea
without a pen to picture you
and without a pad to draw and weep
as the thistles clear
and the leaves fall like rainbows
the sky turns white and colorless
evergreens, evergreen as fall fades
away all around
and winter coming fast
i lay you down to torture you
and slip into my socks
with a knife
and blade

a fire and a kiss
two steps set down to follow you
two eyes Ive come to miss

when you're here, i gather down
and when your gone i stay awake
dreaming
screaming
a regret
a deep thought and a pane of glass to clear

i miss you
and i will always

looking at yourself is always hard

looking in the mirror

is the worst part of my day

waking up and realizing who you really are

every morning

hungover and ashamed

you look

deep into your own eyes

and realize who you really

are

without makeup

without your daily confusion

Top ten reasons why I am actually COOLER than you already think that I am.

10. The previous sentence.

9. I know the words to every Van Morrison song.

8. I can say ambulance backwards.

7. I own a Pit Bull.

6. My favorite food is mashed potatoes.

5. In the fifth grade I was in the quiz bowl.

4. In the fourth grade I was in T.A.G. (that's talented and gifted for those of you who don't know nuthin)

3. I know the complex chemical reactions that happen in your fish tank.

2. I used to make gatling guns for civil war reenactment.

1. I can quote every single word of "Dumb and Dumber" without missing a single beat.

2. Lisa Loeb is my wife.

3. I lost two years of my life to weed and cheap vodka. (or was it cheap weed and vodka?)

4. I named my first dog "Ripple" after chocolate fudge ripple ice cream.

5. I always win at scrabble.

6. My favorite drink: Grand Mariner.

7. When I grow up I want to be a retired old man.

8. I am writing a novel.

9. I have exercise induced asthma.

10. I am extremely allergic to formaldehyde.