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Everything © A. Reynolds, 2006-2008.
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Written while driving.
I'm lost and you are a magnifying glass when all i need is a telescope my padded cell has done nothing but hold me back and Freud told them to paint it pink to calm my nerves when talking to myself has given way to talking to you when all my words collide and paint a picture, a beautiful portrait of you and I holding our hands pulling sleeves and leading each other down where we make awkward eyes and words yet whisper peacefully all night. -Or- Healing yourself is never all that easy although these days when Christ comes back to visit for the third time and my placebo heart heats up as we all drift off to the heavens here comes the rapture here comes our rupture sleeping soundly we all explode to our feet and wipe away last nights dreams from our eyes I am sure as we all raise our arms fold our hands and pray to god the highest to the third coming he's sitting on golden throne looking down adding up the integersand equating the outcome an algebraic god a superstitious Christand my placebo heart.
What a good love poem. (Quite possibly the first of it's kind)
Perfection at it's finest practiced out and wasted all played up and over done she twists through my life dancing the night away keeping me awake and in my dreams i see her and wake up in a cold sweat only to hear her complain i was turning and twisting, snoring loud (what a good love poem to include snoring. This may just be the first of it's kind) So we lay there and here stuck in each other's arms and ears every word she says is planed out and thought about but still she blushes and bats her lashes every thought of mine random. .... . ..... .. ...... and i speak in tongues in tandem but still my heart skips a beat and sinks an inch so here and there is your love poem because i just can't get you out of my head I had to write you down.
When new love comes, old love sticks like the jelly doughnut that tasted oh so sweet. Or, Your clueless morning blues.
in the deep deep south where the rivers run like veins emptying the mountains cloudy mist or they bleed a deep deep red like the clay like the ground beneath your shoes like your clueless morning blues
sipping your tea with a bit of lemon peel drinking your lemonade without a cube of ice
under the sweet pale Georgia moon she's dancing she swings and twists and looks into my eyes
where have you been my whole life i think as she walks closer what shall i say and my feet stick to the pavement knees weak it's everything i can do to hold my insides in
and not a word is said as she takes my hand and leads me to the street
where my sweet sweet southern belle parades down yellow lines pulls me along and to her bedroom where the night takes its wings and sweeps away the dust
A day after.
I am home and running just to catch up and wake you up dreaming and sleeping vividly and soundly making noise and i am home.
the water is dripping and i am far away i can't help but sleep away to the midnight and catch a ride So, this valentines day turned out to be everything i have come to expect from a modern valentines nightmare including bad press bad advertising bad flowers bad ideas bad chocolates bad gifts and bad choices
It came to be nothing but a watermark on my fabric of life if that........
But, there was a day after. and it was great.
Snow...... Look! It's snowing!
It's morning and I wake up wide eyes and generous your kiss stayed with me all night and the snow feel while we slept
it's morning and I pull up the blinds looking out on last night's fading landscape succumbing to the beat to the beating of a thousand snowflakes
the road to your house disappears as you flick your headlights
the coffee pot whistles and you wake up
it's morning
It starts with an A
Where is this headed? Egg white and your vision fades away to black or blue and every thought of you from your eighteenth year and you step out your front door twisting your hair with a random heart beating with our awkward love life strung up and tied down
and I wait.... and I wait for you in a sea of green and glass yellow lemon grass dripping with care and consciousness
so you lay beside me and I can feel the straight fire that is your soul ripping and tearing my skin pulling all my outside in
it's sad with no motivation I am glued to the television set waiting for your phone call and all my poems and words ten to fade in your direction tend to rest in your palms like you grab my arm while we walk and I already miss you I already miss losing you
I can barely stand up straight let alone fall in love again and even looking in another direction wrenches at my heart because I know I fell too deep too early and I know I should just let you go and never call again or call you out
as my conversation slowly leans to any direction of yours and all my friends and family hide their ears and put away their words to hear me speak and all I ever do is tell them of true love and how I met you.
The doctor used to be smart, until he got sick.
This is backwards and inside out and you are spinning your dizzy dizzy heat beats my dream sequence and takes away my breath
pull back your hair and kiss me grab my chest and take me down beautiful blond beautiful and i hope i don't see you anymore when the sky turns red and you wake up in a cold sweat
it's not your skin it's not just my fingers running through your hair beautiful blond i never spoke enough to let you know how i really feel and what i have done to make you see but photographs and sentences i am sure, just don't cut it at least not with you when ignorance is bliss and on the inside under fluorescent lights
so don't ignore me, starring though your window tapping, throwing rocks i am the branches on the outside, scratching my way in i am the leaves on the tree casting shadows about your bedroom i am your lover stuck in place and dreaming so, beautiful blond, let me in.
When day and night light collide.
Oh and all the leaves have fallen from the trees all the gloves have fallen from our fingers it's a trench coat midnight and we're soaked to the core walking downtown and pacingto the corner store Oh the snow is coming down and your wicked chest is freezing solid while i try to warm you up with sweat and a little touch of freedom Oh the sun rises steadilyand the moon is catching up one of these days i am sure they will collide and we will all run inside cover our heads in hats and masks dancing around the firelight naked as the earth takes it's last deep breath Oh and what a site it is when all the fires rise to meet the heavens and all the volcanoes break through the railroad tracks the ocean swells and cracks then seeps to hell and back carrying with it the meaning of life and all the fishes Oh as the earth fades me and you waiting, holding hands watching the leaves fall from trees in spite together until trench coat midnight
A storyteller's trap.
i spent the night with a beautiful girl and i couldn't make the time to write so i woke up and ready with everything perfectly thought out and place together in dreams with line breaks and handshakes rhyming rhythm the velvet teen spread its lips and kissed my ears still sore from hearing her laugh.
its bad breath and bad news when I'm waking with the blues of falling asleep next to somebody i didn't know love at first sight says so
she kept up her guard and i turned on the stereo i tuned in the radio and it became her super hero and it came to be her perfect lips caressed me and it came to be i came inside and she told me to leave
and last night i didn't really dream i lied like always but i did imagine you actually holding my hand and i loved it
Fuck
This is it, where it all ends when i write you a poem that you will surely never read and i will imagine pasting it to your car windows and i will imagine handing it to you with a wink this is me lost and in pieces this is me losing my mind and coming in to see you on a stitch of innocence With every thread of my heart torn out and useless i am pathetic and i am no good at writing poems.. somebody delete my GOD Damn BLOG!
Man, I would love to be less drunk while i write....
I hope to pass out drunk and never wake up i hope to breathe in while i sleep and breathe in all your dust and when morning comes i die in your footsteps walking out the door and headed for work a glass of water to wash it all down these vitamins and a taste of your flesh i thought it was time to end your prayer and you have only just begun your eyes and his an inevitable kiss your height and a tan as soon as it ends i'll sleep away the night and wish myself to death with a glass full of whiskey and one on the way to sleep without you and to live all my sorrows down in my dreams i wait for the time to pass and my lover, carry me home.
Something shitty to pass the time.
I went out and I am sick of this shit I want to believe in love at first site and if I do not ever find it then thats alright at least I tried I don't mind wasting my whole life looking in every woman's eyes searching for someone like me I don't mind walking in and out of your life without even a handshake If love at first site does not exist then i will tell you in forty years then i will tell you on my death bed as i look into your eyes and reveal what you meant to me.
It's morning time and she's pouring wine.
Let me in and take me off the shelf I can barely breathe in here and it's hard to be myself .
I put words together...I make poem.
I caught you, Butterfly in a bed of purple lustrifeinvading like Spanish moss and kudzu and kiss is all it lead to.. and love is where we're headed so drag your wings and break your skin tongue flower and fly you're just a shell headed to hell frozen in time clinging on branches as i stop my steps and kiss saturation in green and blue clouds float above you I'm at a loss for words when you walk inside dead and walking watching, picking locks and solving clues stuck in heaven on a hill frozen in time and ships set out to find you shake your hand Lightning strikes and you shake back quiver and deliver stop seeing things so clearly your loving heart created its own reality flying it's own dove crystal white against the foreign night.
Isn't it all just too beautifull to be real?
The stars weren't really spinning and your words aren't really winning its just your tone of voice I'm sorry I only wanted a single kiss and hug until you saw the ring I know everything you can't be happy and i know your favourite colour I know your favourite picture was chosen by the ocean with a crate on the rocks, sun shining through slats and waves take you away from him and hugs and kisses we all don't live like that and the television takes your life takes off your shoes and cooks you dinner adjust the shutter speedcause time is all we need and all we ever have so wrap me up in ribbons wrap me up in neckties and kiss me as the radio spits fire at the kitchen washing dishes.
A poem for a lovely lady, but not mine of course....
you shape shifting sapphire girl tie me down and down and out drift away like waves of fire and wine dripping out your lips like gasoline falling to the floor as you dance tossing teeth and fire from lip gloss words circling your feet a smoke ring so marry me and carry me down down down you played violin drift away your kiss of death diamond baby, gold and crazy take down your glasses and pick up the lenses dancing in , trancing out sticks and stones you leave me alone and nylon isn't much nothing but a crush something like teeth scraping, draping tongues as i carry on and carry you off golden heaven's gates I'm lost and scratching stuck detaching believing and breathing in everything you say and my wildfire ways catch and herd your words like spitting gasoline and flame silver princess pain dancing dancing dance the night away
Marcy, I loved you, but you did not know..... Awww well.....what is a boy to do
lately i have not much to say when you torture me tie me down and cover my lips i want you and i want you so bad and don't, please don't be the one to end this all thats my job if you didn't know you came inside and i showed you around you didn't have much going and you came back with a smile on your face right before i asked you out the smile was you were engaged only not to me the perfect amount of innocence but not to me, just as i figured what it is i wanted just as i figured what i needed so he stepped up and knelt down i respect and i do respect your decision but i would rather see you happily in knots with me than tossed around like a sorry teardrop with anybody else.
The last few.
Now, i know i don't have any readers. I do plan on having some, but at the moment i don't. Nobody really likes self loathing Allister..... Anyway, started a blog, closer to my real life. I did not like that blog (plus, it was time consuming), so I just pasted most of the posts over here. Enjoy.
Watching hippies dance.
cars are backed up to lake Michigan take cover stop and breathe take a hit of home made Ecstasy and sleep away life there is enough cocaine to drown a crying child there is enough cocaine to bleed a sour infant and they're dancing on the floor dancing without motion or cause. When does this end when do you set down the Chiclets and cigarettes and pick up a pen again? I'll sit back and wonder wish i could be you there with you and dance without question of trance now breathe; and sink
One day i will wake up from this dream, called reality and scream.
Wake me up wake me up from this machine gun headache wake me up from this undertow and overflow we're headed to mars out past our moon NASA is changing colours on the pictures hiding your tomb Hubble is lost in space with the last of the rinkidink astronauts and we live a nightmare of Krispy Kreme and white castle as the world falls apart and America it's shoes trudging towards destruction please, somebody please shake me, I'm waking make me up from this incandescent room as the ceiling tiles collapse a checkerboard is formed around my feet skip with me and king me I am your king you just didn't know drill a hole and expand farm the fish and land this spaceship is crumbling somebody shake me I 'm waking wake me up
It never happened
we wake up smelling like cigarettes and ash a man in the backyard hooking up the internet here's your two-day love and here's your one night stand when she answers the door in her underwear and lets in the cable man it seems like such a time when we drink away the night no need for conversation we both want the same thing anyway do i get no rise out of meeting you? why not? do i love myself too much? why do you not interest me? Here we are sprawled out like children like infants gambling with our lives and fate like putty in our palms Here we are growing up and never learning a thing tasting the dirt and soaking up the sun baby i never was one for conversation and never was i one for one night stands tonight i will hold my head high and tomorrow tomorrow i will wake up ashamed and depressed like always like ever and you were never there you never changed a thing
Taboo...... No, not the game.
It started snowing and i was drinking a beer while driving Oasis came on the radio and at that moment i felt alive more alive than ever more alive than everybody else in their cars with jobs and circumstances and lives i think that i felt true happiness is that okay? It almost felt awkward like your first orgasm or your first playboy i felt happiness, and it was taboo strictly taboo Was i not supposed to feel that?
Just thoughts.
I am bleeding and all my thoughts of you run down my palm and to the drain opening my eyes lately I've been floating flying from treetops down to earth to kiss you goodbye and we twist like little kids we miss and flip our lids toss back all your hair and throw back all your sorrows --------- Imagine perfection as it were taking off our shoes and leaves and biting apples you, long distance lover long distance love of mine i cast out my heart hook, line and sinker waiting hoping glare goes the sun and forever goes the god as i happily day to day drift on and on away -------- everything will turn the skies will fall as do the petals i could never make you happy i know, i tried so for now we sleep like infants with uninterrupted dreams of nothing and fortune and wait to fall in love as we toss off our leaves and reach to the tree ----------- In our three bedroom apartment with a two story window she's looking out the top and tossing out all her thoughts and cigarettes..... with my god watching over her and kissing all her sins away for the night so she can go out dancing in her high heeled shoes and a new black dress ....that i should have bought and she glows under the neon city lights she's almost reflecting fluorescingand twisting blue and red in a new black dress ...That i should have bought
Uninspired.... what else?
I can't take it anymore not sleeping and drinking too much it's really starting to wear me down now i have car payments and insurance again i have rent and Internet i must feed myself
i think it's about time for a new year's resolution but i cant think of one .... what kind of resolution can you make that brings you extra money i already quit smoking i wont quit drinking ....and "drink cheaper beer" is hardly a resolution ....."drink cheap vodka instead of beer" isn't either i really shouldn't have this problem when it comes down to this i should probably just stop when it comes down to drinking, or personal finances there should be a clear winner and if not.....' i should be at a meeting although i am just twenty one plenty of time to quit plenty of time to make excuses plenty of time to ruin my life
As it becomes increasingly harder, and harder to write anything i need a retreat i need a new job i need a new life as i cant find anything inspiring i need something new late nights and fast food just isn't cutting it anymore
i would like to go to another country hike across Africa fight termites discover new species start wars end battles invent something
it's pathetic.. listening to myself ramble i am about sick of it too
so... here we are stuck on a crumbling bridge spanning inspiration and annoyance bitching and creation
somebody send me a postcard I don't care about anybody in my life i would take a bullet for principle i would open a door for cause but for it to happen out of respect is just lost hope i am nice because i believe that we all should be nice i appreciate because we all should appreciate i laugh because it is helpful i joke because it lightens spirits
am i hiding my emotions??... no i just don't really have any at least not right now its called healing and it happens.....
I wrote you a song
I fell asleep and while the cat creeps the dog drinks and the sun dips and sinks moonlight shadowed up my trees and the virgin falls to her knees begging for release sifting through your ashes and a melted pair of glasses tracing up your wrists and tugging for a kiss the baby cries and cries out loud but you're standing, laughing looking proud stepping out your door and blowing up your chest with the goodnight air breathing in aspirations and exhaling any care and relief and belief my uncertain, worried mind i pray and search to find isn't half as worth it to you,you see i am stuck shoveling sandbags and rain working through the pain so i woke up and rolled over my eyes to see the moon did rise the sun did set and the stars haven't yet you see.... its a forced reaction to every single thing you say when you puff up your chest and talk away the time
And i wait.
Here i am waiting just getting over an old English proverb translated back to French and i wait
here you go holding your heart in your hand standing out in crowds as the world crowds around you you wink and waive and i know i could never pull you down
i need something i need to start and standing here, watching you is no way to begin screaming as the restless nights fill up my future i need to change direction i need to stop looking
here i am grabbing my chest holding lungs and breathing hard as your lemon yellow kiss passes me by
and i wait.
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